Alexandra Duncan

Science Fiction. Fantasy. Feminism.

PIRATES ON THE BRAIN


This coming Saturday is the second annual Pirate Day at the children's book store where I work part time. Although I'll be at my other, full-time job that day, I've been on craft duty, creating a cardboard pirate ship with holes cut out for the "cannonball toss" game.

As if that weren't enough pirate-y goodness, we finally managed to see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End on Sunday evening. As we were discussing Orlando Bloom's relative merits on the way home, Jeremy and I realized we had just watched two entirely different movies based on our interpretations of a key Orlando Bloom scene:

Midway through the movie, said Mr. Bloom is held captive on a certain ship, and is escaping the brig each night to tie a dead body to a barrel and toss it overboard, leaving a trail for the ship's pursuers to follow. Jeremy, trusting in the stultifyingly dull nature of our Orlando and his character's general goody-two-shoes image, believes that Mr. Bloom selected these corpses from the victims of one of the ship's numerous battles.

I, on the other hand, have arrived at an entirely different conclusion through the power of deductive logic.
Fact 1: We see the trail of bodies in the water over the course of at least two days.
Fact 2: A ship's crew would not keep a rotting pile of corpses on board any longer than necessary. They would heave them overboard right away, friend and foe alike.
Fact 3: Orlando Bloom's character is desperate to reach the ship that is following his captors, because he believes it is his only means of rescuing his father from a fate worse than death. He has already betrayed his best friends and true love in an attempt to save dear old dad.

Therefore, since there are no handy, already-deceased bodies lying around,
I conclude that Mr. Bloom must be desperate enough to make his own corpses, killing off a crew member or fellow captive each night to use for his barrel trail.

Jeremy says I'm sick, that the filmmakers made a simple error in logic. Nevertheless, I think my interpretation makes the movie - and Orlando Bloom's character- much more interesting. Even if I am sick, I think I'll stick to my guns until someone proves me wrong; it's much more fun that way.


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